Day 23

The orphanage has been a little difficult this week because for some reason the kids are all in bad moods. There are typically 4 or 5 kids continually screaming at a time and there are lots of little fights over toys and attention. I think it is because these other workers are harsher on the kids and they soak up the negative energy like a sponge. I noticed that because the workers treat all the kids the same (harsh and inconsistently), they treat even the good kids like bad kids.. they yell a lot and are very forceful. It is a difficult balance though between giving them the love they need while helping them develop and know right from wrong. How much is it ok to expect from the children in terms of behavior?

I think one thing that is so crucial is to know each child individually. They are not one big collective child.. each has specific disorders, needs, wants and because there are only 2 or so workers to 15 children, it is impossible to help each child grow up to be the most capable child he or she can be. That is why I think being here is so important. Yeah.. if I did not come here someone else would have taken my place and the kids would still have someone to play with. I think that I am here because I need this. Sure the kids need love from us but I think that I need these kids more than they need me. Actually I know I do. They are already working changes in me that I did not anticipate. They help me see strengths as well as weaknesses that I did not even know that I have. I am becoming a more compassionate and humble person.. not to mention a freakin softie! I have gotten more choked up in this one month than I have in 6 months back home. I see miracles every day here.

The high of the day: I took Alex into the computer room today though and he wanted to play this new computer game... I was not sure if we were allowed to because typically they want him to work on numbers, letters, etc. I figured it could not hurt. I popped the game in and it was a music game. In this one section there

were 10 different mice.. each with a different

instrument. As Alex went along and clicked each one.. the mouse would play the instrument. When all 10 were playing.. they made a cool little mexican song. Alex absolutely loved it so I started to dance.. like full on dance haha. He got so excited that from his wheelchair he stiffened up his legs, stretched his arms out, bowed his head into his chest and started moving around as much as he could. He had the biggest smile on his face and we just danced for a good few minutes. A couple times I would grab his hand and swing it back and forth singing along to the song. Man it was enough to get me a little tired afterwards! It was so fun though. It made the whole day worth it. He was so happy that he didnt mind going back to his room afterwards. He has such a special spirit. Just by looking into his eyes it gives you chills because you know how much love is in this boy's heart. How many hopes and desires he wants but he is trapped in this handicapped body. It still blows me away to think that he has a fully capable mind, emotions and everything. I really wish I could tap into his mind.. I wonder if I could somehow create flash cards or something to ask about his likes, his dislikes.. his opinions.. the person inside of the crippled body in the wheelchair. It is great to help him do math and read.. but I think I can help him express his emotions too and if I can find a way to effectively do this.. I think that could be so great for him.

These are some pictures from the hospital..the spanish girl (her name was like 7 syllables haha) and Julian..Us and Cristi's Mom Rodica.. Megan and Alex.. a picture Danut took.. the cute orphan Julian..Us and Cristi. It was cool because Rodica wanted our contact information. I gave her our apartment phone number, my email and home address. She says her sister has email but that she will call. I am not sure how that will work because... we dont speak any Romanian! That may render our conversation impossible. We will see!